Meeting your perfect partner, what could be more wonderful? Someone to spend the rest of your life with, someone to share the ups and downs, the highs and lows. Finding that someone special can be one of the most fulfilling and rewarding things you’ll ever do.

It can also be one of the most difficult, heart wrenching and soul destroying. Spending hours traipsing the bars and nightclubs weekend after weekend looking for that special someone can be expensive, tedious and often just plain futile. Drunken encounters rarely lead to anything other than a one-night stand. We’ve all been there…

If we could harness the enthusiasm men have for sport and channel it towards the dating game, we would have many more romantic victories.

Things have changed, however. The world has become a smaller place. Rapid advances in technology mean that we can now meet people (both men and women) from every imaginable background – all at the touch of a button.

Background (Men & Women)

In the past, life was brutal. No, not the seventies! I mean way back – over one million years ago.

Hunting for food, defending oneself against beasts, as well as the elements, were all part of every day life. There wasn’t much time for messing about – playing silly love games. In order to compete with other men for food and sex, a man had to be tough. For women, the choice was obvious. Choose the strongest male and you’ve guaranteed yourself and your children and their kids the best chance of survival.

Things are different now. What with changing social values, different roles, religion, ipods, laptops, and rudimentary tools like hairdryers, shoes, forks and so on, it’s a bit more complicated…

Problems singles face

In the old days it was black and white – you hunted for food and the strongest got to procreate. Today, we’re a lot softer. Our lifestyles have become insanely hectic. A lot of us just don’t have the time because of work commitments.

Traditional methods of finding a partner are fast becoming obsolete. Arranged marriages are hard to come by  - and don’t work anyway! Building trust and rapport with a woman in a bar/nightclub where you can barely hear your own thoughts is challenging; typically a waste of time for the man and often just annoying for the woman. Meeting a ‘fine young thing’ after church on a Sunday only happens in Glenroe.

Once you reach 35+, things get tricky. If you’re not already hitched, with kids, or in a serious relationship, maybe you’ve failed in life! Well, probably not but it can sometimes feel that way.

Desperation can set in – especially for many career women who have left things a little late and face a ticking biological clock. Where do single people in this age category meet up? There are not many decent venues for the 35+ (single) male or female. Also, over 35s who are single tend to have a smaller pool of friends – making it harder to meet new people. Hanging out with married couples just reminds you of the fact that you’re still single while the married couples express their resentment at not being single! They quickly forget how tough it is to find a compatible life partner.

Being single in the rural parts of Ireland can be really tough. There’s either too many men and not enough women or vice versa. It’s near impossible to meet partners. The days of the ballroom of romance are dead.

Single parents often find it difficult to get out and meet new people, with all their commitment focused on the kid(s). Building trust and finding someone empathetic who understands and accepts that they’ll play second fiddle in the relationship really narrows the field to a select few. Most eligible singles typically want their own.

Unlike women, men often ‘hunt’ alone. It’s kind of hard to feel cool walking up to a big group of girls in a bar by yourself. While trying to come across as George Clooney or Brad Pitt, you mostly just feel like an awkward turd. Yes, motivation and confidence can be hard to muster!

Men’s role as the breadwinner has changed enormously over the past 20 years. Flashing your cash doesn’t seem to work any more either, as chances are she’ll earn as much (or more) than you. Many men struggle to understand their role in today’s society as the extreme feminists argue that men are only good for reproduction.

There’s many problems…but one simple solution. All singles must be proactive.  Ladies are more organised and typically take on ‘The Dating Game’ with energy – backed up by the power of their support groups. Men are lazy; it takes a man a lot of willpower and determination to even get to the starting post of the ‘The Dating Game’. Many fall at the first hurdle, but it’s a game and it can be won. Men need to understand that they must be open to trying new ideas and with some determination, many will succeed.

There are companies that organise singles events – speed dating, dinner dating, adventure days, parties and legitimate matchmakers are all viable methods of meeting new people.

Women need to get over this ‘perfect man’ idea…he doesn’t exist and if he did, he’d probably be as boring as hell. Look for the right man for you, not some knight in shining armor who’ll probably end up being a shallow babbling buffoon. Give real men a chance. Lower the bar of expectation; you could be amazed at what lands beside you.

Most importantly, don’t take dating too seriously, let go, have fun! That’s when you’ll meet that someone special.

Quick Tips!

Be realistic. Success may take some time but don’t give up. Be mentally prepared to face the dating market. Find a friend to help you – it makes it easier.

Be confident. Flirt in a fun way and don’t let knock-backs deter you.

Follow your passions. Whatever they are – sports, music, art etc. There’s someone out there with the same ones as you.

Be open-minded. Don’t dismiss people because of social status, career, appearance etc. Get to know them first. He or she could be the one! You’d be surprised.

Lose the stigma attached to dating organisations. Try speed dating, dinner dating and all methods of dating.

Have fun. Don’t take it all too seriously – life’s too short, be proactive, and get out.

Conclusion

Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it. (Brian Cramer)

The world is changing. And fast.

BUT! One thing remains the same. Finding that perfect partner is still quite simply a “numbers game”. The possibilities are endless and it’s never been easier or more fun. Just get online and then GET OUT!

www.mysterydates.ie

www.getout.ie