It’s hard to imagine if you’ve never given birth, but becoming a mum is the most challenging, satisfying, life changing and emotional time in a woman’s life. It brings out the best, and worst in us, challenges us, challenges our relationship with our partner, and makes us realise what’s really important in life. JO LAVELLE meets fivewomen who have recently had their lives turned upside down by their little bundle.

Sonia is mother to one-year-old Eamonn
“Since having my son nine months ago, the biggest change I’ve experienced is the massive sense of responsibility. The first six weeks I couldn’t believe that my husbandand I were completely responsible for this baby. Not knowing if you’re doing the rightthing is the scariest part but after a while, I think mums get used to a routine and it’s notas daunting. Our lives revolve around Eamonn’s and I love that it does. Being organised isa necessity but I’ve always liked being organised. Now Eamonn organises my life!I find that I am much more relaxed since having my baby. If I’m having a crazy busyday, then I find Eamonn is crazy busy as well, but if I’m having a relaxing day at home,Eamonn just chills out with me and we have plenty of nap times; it really proves that children do feed off their surroundings. I’ve also become much more emotional since hav-ing him. Sometimes even watching the news can really upset me. My priorities have definitely changed since becoming a mum, but I don’t think mylifestyle has changed as much as I thought it would. I still socialise although not as muchas I did, but it really makes me appreciate a night out – thanks to Eamonn’s fabulous grandparents. Of course, priorities change as your baby’s needs must come first butyou also have to make time for your husband and some you-time.The greatest joy is the overwhelming feeling of love that I feel when I lookat Eamonn or when he smiles at me. It’s not like any love I have ever experienced. When Eamonn makes a new noise and constantly doesthat noise for the whole day, it really sends me into fits of laughter.Also, his love of chewing on a wooden spoon. No matter what toyyou give him, he loves the wooden spoon. I think he mightgrow up to be a good cook like his daddy!There are so many challenges for mothers these daysand I, like a lot of mums, work so leaving Eamonn togo to work is tough. But it makes you cherish the timeyou spend with your children a lot more. I also thinkthat mums can be tough on themselves in terms ofdoubting whether they are doing things right orwrong. I’m the first to ask for help whenever I’munsure and I’ve never tried to be superwoman; I might have gotten driving lessons but I never got ‘looking after ababy’ lessons! Nevertheless, you canonly do your best and if your baby ishealthy and happy, then I thinkyou’re onto a winner!”

Lorraine is the mother of Leah 3, and Rowan, 2
“The single biggest way in which motherhood has changed my life isthe fact that I’m no longer my main priority. The responsibility ofhaving this tiny person rely entirely on you for everything is terrifying at first, but it brings a new purpose to each day.  The feeling oflove and protectiveness that you feel for this little being can’t be put intowords and has made me a happier, more attentive person. I can nowunderstand the phrase that ‘a mother’s love has no bounds’!  I think I’ve also become less selfish because my priorities have changed.As my children are growing up and learning more, so am I. I tend toquestion my decisions more as I know that they will affect my family andnot just me. I’m aware that I have much to learn as a parent and I’menjoying the process…and of course I’m making mistakes along the way.I enjoy simple things more now which my children love doing likesinging a silly song or making up stories. I definitely appreciate my owntime more and try to make the most of any alone time I have.My greatest joy is when Leah or Rowan come and give me a hug or akiss for no reason; hearing them laugh so hard that it makes me laugh; orjust being able to make them feel better by giving them a cuddle is veryspecial. Seeing the joy that they also bring to the lives of their grandparents and aunts and uncles is incredible. Every little milestonethat they achieve makes me feel so proud of them – I’m constantlyamazed at how fast they learn things.My greatest challenge would be time. Trying to find a balance betweenspending time with my children, alone time with my husband, working,catching up with friends and time out for myself is one of the biggestchallenges I face as a mother.Knowing what is the right thing to do in various situations can also bevery difficult.  If one of the children are sick, do we call a doctor, go to ahospital or just cuddle them until they feel better? Making decisions thatcan effect the rest of their lives like which school should they go to, thebest way to discipline – the list just goes on – can be frightening.Motherhood has changed my life in an entirely positive way, but itdefinitely has its challenges. When I hear my daughter saying phrases tomy younger son that I know she picked up from my husband or I is veryfunny, but also makes me aware of how we act and what we do and sayin every day life will shape the person that our children will become. Ican’t really put into words how our lives have been transformed over thepast three years. I actually can’t imagine what we did with our timebefore they arrived! With all its challenges and uncertainties, I can safelysay that my life is much happier and more fulfiled with our children init. I do have to say that my husband Tom and I are both very lucky tohave supportive, helpful and loving families who are very involved in ourchildren’s lives. Parenthood, in my eyes, would be much more difficultwithout this support and love from our parents, brothers and sisters – sothanks to you all!

”Nicola is the mother of nine-month-old Charlie “The greatest change in my life since having Charlieis the totally overwhelming feeling of love that Ihave for him. It really is something that is wonderful but frightening, all at the same time. Youbring this bundle of joy into your life and it’s just soamazing how much you love them and would do anything for them, but if anything happened, in asecond your life would totally change.When Charlie was three months old, I suddenlyrealised that I had changed as a person; I’d never be the oldme again. I panicked at first, but then I realised that thechange that had happened was a good one. It’s hard to pinpoint just one major change; I think it’s many little things.I feel that now I am a more open person; I’m not afraid tosay how I’m feeling.The first six to eight weeks after Charlie arrived was like atornado just ripped through our lives. The getting up everythree to four hours to feed wasn’t so bad; it was the smallertasks, like going to the shop for bread and milk – it was likea mini military operation, but now I have it down to a fineart. After those few weeks, things settled down and we real-ly started to enjoy it. Now we can’t imagine what we didbefore he came. We try every weekend to do things as afamily, whereas before we did what we needed to do. Of course your priorities change – hugely. Before, it couldtake me hours to get ready to go anywhere, now I can beready in half an hour. It might still sound like a lot but it’s ahuge improvement. Everything we do now, we stop tothink how it will effect Charlie, and he’s always put first, heis our only priority.The greatest challenge I find is making decisions thatcould affect him for the rest of his life. With the wholeSwine Flu scare recently, we agonised over whether to givehim the vaccination or not. We finally decided to give it tohim, but I really was so unsure about it, worrying whetherhe’d suffer side effects etc. I really was not expecting to haveto make such a big decision so soon into motherhood. Itjust made me realise how hard it must be for parents whohave children that are sick to make such decisions for themon a daily basis. On the day he had the vaccination, I felt soexhausted from worry. The other challenges ahead that Ithink about even now are education, and the terrible teens!”

Katherine is the mother of one-year-old Melanie
“The only way I can describe the way that motherhood has changed mylife is that I am now a mum; caring for someone more than for myself.My cooking skills have improved and that’s no harm, and I’d like tothink I’m a little bit more organised. Obviously, my time is less of my ownand I will never understand why I don’t mind that so much. I always feel Ihave a reason to smile, not that I ever considered myself a pessimistic person, but to be honest I never had my heart and soul set on having children either and now that it’s happened, I consider myself one of theluckiest people in the world. I am so proud of my daughter already; she isthe happiest little girl and is more than I could ever have imagined. As a person I’ve changed completely since having Mel. I think I’m a littlemore serious; I don’t know if that’s good or bad yet. I think I’ve learned alot about myself and have become more open to trying something new. I’vedefinitely become very family-oriented too, and having to become a plannerhas proved to be very beneficial to the family – before, I did everything atthe last minute. Having the baby meant I needed to be a little bit morestructured, but I’m loving that too. I’m finally doing things I had put off foryears because I thought it would be too time-consuming. Every day gives me another reason to be joyful; a smile, a giggle, a cuddle,knowing that I’m the one that can comfort this little baby and nobody elsecan do that better than me. It truly is the most amazing feeling in theworld, I just want her to stay small forever, I get depressed every-time shegoes up a nappy size. There are always challenges, and different days have different challenges.It could be as simple as getting five minutes to have a shower or the babycould be ill and I wouldn’t have a clue what’s wrong. I just take each day asit comes and thank God when we get through it. It’s true what people saythough; I think I will worry abouther every minute of every dayfor the rest of my life.”

Martina & Cian, 8 months old
“I had no idea what to expect when I had Cian, andhad no idea how much my life would change. Myfreedom is gone in the sense that I am now responsible for someone else besides me, 24 hours a dayseven days a week. It’s so scary but you just deal with it,because in return I have received something else amazingin return… love!I‘d like to think that I haven’t changed as a person, butI have. It’s inevitable. I’m still me but I’m me as a mum.Life for us has definitely changed. Everything we do nowrevolves around Cian; we build our days and weeksaround him. Our Sundays, for example, pre-Cian usedto start with breakfast out, then the cinema in afternoon,maybe a takeaway that evening or dinner in Moran’s onthe Weir (our favourite place). We never planned anything, we just did everything.  Sounds lovely… and it was. Now our sundays arebreakfast at home, maybe a walk on the prom after, thenwe do our weekly shopping (all three of us) and we thenspend the rest of the day watching ‘come dine with me’while cooking Cian’s food for the week. Everything nowhas to be planned and pre-organised, to ensure we have astress-free working week to follow.  It’s still a lovely day, just different. Really the best wayfor me to describe how our lives have changed, is that weused to be a couple, but now we are a family… and wewould never go back, not for all the crabs claws in theworld. We love him.Just to see him happy brings me such joy; he’s such alittle giggler, and he is so much fun to play with. But Idon’t think anything can beat his smile, first thing in themorning, there it is looking back at you. I guess thatshim sealing the deal on his side to  get treated like a kingfor yet another day.Since becoming a mum I have a new admiration forall parents. People used to tell me we were in for a hardtime, sleepless nights etc. They were right; it is hardwork, harder than any job I’ve ever had  and yes it’sworth it… just like ‘they’ all said. So to my parents I’dlike to say a big thank you, especially my mum, fromone mum to another, I understand it all now.”